Friends, there is one food that I always does a crazy for, and that is eggies. Let me tells you about my history with those small oval balls of tastiness.
When I was a very young lad, I didn’t haves a home. Or rather I did haves a home, but then the person who lived in that home decided that me and my brothers would no longer haves a home, so they decided to throw us away like we were little pieces of rubbish.
“I is NOT HAVING THAT,” Mother Earth shouted, and she sends some kind people who does us a find, and those kind peoples took us to a place called “the Pound” and there, more people does us many kinds and then, Muvver found me and said: “I declare that this here boy is my son. I haves no desire to spawn human children and I have waited 34 years to meet this little furry lad” and then she takes me home and I meets my new Farver and we lives happily ever after.
But the most exciting part of this happily ever after, friends, was when I meets my Grandmuvver and Grandfarver for the first time. I must do an honest and say I was afraid of Grandfarver, not because he did me a fright, but just because his voice was deep and he was a man. But Grandmuvver I see-ed and it was love at first sight. She has beautiful ankles, which were the first thing that crossed my eyes and my heart, and then she scooped me up and did kisses on my face and she said: “Ziggy Moonbeam, I think I know exactly what you would like. Would you like some scrambled eggies?!”
I had no idea what these scrambled eggies were, friends, but she decided to makes them for me anyway and they smells so nice and then before I knew it the bowl was empty and I had to do a really long lick with my tongue to get a bit of eggie from my snout.
Now, whenever I sees my Grandmuvver at their house, there is always a bowl of warm scrambled eggies waiting for me. She says it’s “our thing”. Sometimes when she and Grandfarver comes to my house to do me a see, I smells the eggie in her bag and she calls that one a “hard boiled eggie”, and she says: “Eat it slowly Ziggy Moonbeam, with your darling little front teefs” and I does and everybody watches me and says “Isn’t he a tremendous young lad?!” and I does my stretches and does lots of cutes.
And about Grandfarver, well it didn’t take long, friends. He soon realised that I loves eggies as much as he does and sometimes when Muvver and Grandmuvver go out for the day and Farver says “Please Muvver, you must take him because he will be bored while I’m working”, Grandfarver and me spend the day together, and we watches YouTube and documentaries about flat-earthers, which Grandfarver says “IS STUPID” and I does a nod, even though I thinks to myself that it does all look a bit flat from where I is doing a stand. But the best thing about my morning with Grandfarver, friends, is the eggies.
“Did Ziggy have an egg?” I hears Muvver say once when she came back with Grandmuvver. “Yes, he did,” I hears Grandfarver say, and he tells her about the eggies we had together: two pieces of toast with two poached eggies on for him. And one piece with one eggie for me. “Don’t worry, I cut it up into small pieces for him,” I hears him tells them.
That was one of the best eggies ever my friends.
Grandmuvver said next on the list for me is a very small ham omelette. I isn’t too sure what that is, but if there is eggies involved, I knows I will like it. To me, eggies means love, and Muvver says love is the most important thing there is the world, so that makes me do a know that eggies is the most important thing in the world too.
🥚
The Musings & Misadventures of Ziggy Moonbeam 
Leave a comment