If you looks anywhere official, you will see my full name in all its glittering glory: Mr. Ziggy Moonbeam. But I haves another name, friends, and it is one of less glory.
Sometimes my Muvver and Farver call me ‘Little Bogwit’. Nobody quite knows where the name came from, but one day when I were a very small lad, it springs forth from Muvver’s mouf. Sometimes I hears them wondering why, and they thinks it must be to do with my early goblin-like behavior, when my teefs were sharp and my nature was nasty.
And it did a stick. And I now answer to it.
A few months ago, Muvver’s family came to stay and they comes with something very strange. It was a very small human, but really friends it were the size of me. And we both did each other a fright and we spends a lot of time just looking at each other. And the thing I found strangest was that he was allowed to do his toilets inside his clothes, and then the humans would say “the baby has done a toilet” and they would takes him somewhere and he would comes back and his toilet would be gone.
Which didn’t really seem fair, friends, because when I gos to do a toilet, everybody watches me. But his toilet did gets carried out in a bag too, like mine.
And when Muvver’s cousin’s husband comes out in the garden holding the toilet bag, he saids a question:
“I have a question: what is a bogwit?”
And Muvver and Farver said:
“That, cousin’s husband, is a Bogwit”, and everybody followed with their eyes to where Muvver and Farver’s fingers was doing a point and they all done a look at me and I did my bestest smile at them.
The Musings & Misadventures of Ziggy Moonbeam 
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