Friends, I must tells you the simplest of truths. If Muvver and Farver knew I was telling you this truth then they would shout “NO ZIGGY MOONBEAM, you must NOT. Peoples will get the wrong impression.
They will say “You bad peoples. You starve that small dog. Tis no wonder he looks skeletal.””
But I am a teller of truths, friends.
And the truth is this. I wish I could eats more every day.
And if your day began with a bowl of kibble every day, you would haves the same wish I have.
The kibble comes in a big bag and it smells of fishies. Farver says to me “we works hard to put this kibble in your bowl Ziggy Moonbeam, so you be sure to eat every last bite of it son. These fishies comes all the way from Canada”. On Sundays and Wednesdays Muvver cooks fresh vegetables like broccoli, sweet potatoes, squash and green beans to add to my kibble. Then for my evening dinner I eats more kibble, but this time Muvver adds oil onto it from the fishies “to keep your skin and fur nice and healthy Ziggy Moonbeam” she says.
They does me a shout when sometimes I tries to spit the kibble out the side of my mouf.
The only fun in any of it is the chicken my grandmuvver cooks for me each week. When I goes to her house, she and grandfarver lets me eat WHATEVER I wants, except for everything on the list that Muvver gave them to sticks on their fridge.
The list is long, friends.
I is also allowed five or six treats each day, which I finks is no number at all for such a good boy as myself.
Muvver says that if I haves it my way I would never stop eatings and I would gets fat and she says then I will get problems with my heart and my joints and I will do a die. Then she looks at me and her eyes does a fills with water and I finks “JESUS WOMAN, I IS ONLY JUST TURNED FOUR”.
Last year the man in the white coat made me stop eatings because I had a problem with my thigh. He said “you must feed him only this very expensive food for 6 weeks and do a see if he is allergic to anyfink”, so they done it and it were so boring and it done me a big depress.
They didn’t realise the reason I were gnawing my inner thighs was because I was doing a hungry because the food they gives me is SO BORING.
It isn’t fair, friends. I want burgers and offal and I would really like to tries the horsemeat they found in dog food once upon a time.
I got to goes now because Muvver is calling me with my daily stuffed Kong.
The Musings & Misadventures of Ziggy Moonbeam 
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